Get Extra Squeaky Clean With Playmate Jessica Ashley’s Steamy Shower Shots

My bathroom just upgraded from a shower curtain to glass doors, and let me tell you, they are a difference maker. I like to think I look nearly as good through the steamed glass as Jessica Ashley does, just in more of a masculine way.

The biggest thing I can say about the change is that I no longer have to feel like a murder is lurking on the other side of the curtains, waiting to pounce as soon as I squat on the toilet. I know that is when he’ll do it because that is when we are most vulnerable. All things are most vulnerable while they are pooping, that is why dogs always maintain eye contact with you while they make their business. They want to know you have their back if a coyote tries to jump them.

After the risk of death, the other reasons seem so small. Sure, it’s great to not have a shower curtain that is covered in mold, but mold has never killed anyone, right? It just makes people judge you for living without any standards for yourself. Thankfully they don’t look in my fridge, because that is an example of having no standards.